Why taking action before you feel ready can change everything
We have plenty of expressions that describe what people are capable of when they’re forced into action.
- Sink or swim
- Baptism by fire
- Rise to the occasion
- Necessity is the mother of invention
These expressions reflect something interesting about human behaviour: sometimes we discover what we’re capable of only when circumstances leave us little choice but to act.
Yet how often do we avoid taking action because we don’t feel ready, confident or capable?
How necessity can force us to overcome social anxiety
I was reminded of this recently when I met a middle-aged businessman who shared a fascinating story.
He grew up in China before moving to Sydney to attend university. The transition was incredibly difficult. He experienced profound social anxiety about having to meet unfamiliar people, navigate a strange environment and communicate in a foreign language. His anxiety became so severe that he struggled to leave his home. He even started losing his hair.
But he faced a difficult choice.
If he wanted to complete his degree and remain in Australia, he had to find a way to participate in university life. He couldn’t avoid unfamiliar people and uncomfortable conversations forever. So, despite his anxiety, he gradually found a way forward.
When I met him, some two decades later, he was a confident, articulate businessman who seemed perfectly comfortable interacting with people. It was difficult to reconcile the man sitting opposite me with the anxious young student he described.
Why social courage doesn't require confidence
His story made me think about social courage.
I define social courage as the willingness to act despite the possibility of rejection, judgement or discomfort. Sometimes we exercise social courage voluntarily, by deliberately putting ourselves into uncomfortable situations. Other times, circumstances force us to develop social courage because avoiding those situations is no longer a realistic option.
Of course, being forced into uncomfortable situations doesn’t always lead to growth. Severe anxiety is a serious challenge, and people may need support to overcome it.
But his experience illustrates something I’ve also learnt from having lunch with 500 strangers: confidence often follows action, rather than preceding it.
I wonder how different his life might have been if he’d never been compelled to step outside his comfort zone. And I wonder how many opportunities the rest of us miss because we’re waiting to feel ready.
You don’t necessarily need to wait for circumstances to force you into action. You can choose to exercise social courage today.
Start small. Take a manageable risk. Do something you’ve been putting off. You might surprise yourself when you discover what you’re capable of.
